Faupel Musser Love, P.C.

Making changes in your parenting style after divorce

You already know that your life is going to change after you go through a divorce. What you may not realize is that your parenting style might also change. This comes for a variety of reasons but it can shock your children when things start to change.

In order to make sure that you are parenting in the way that you want and to help your children adjust to the changes, you need to make a plan for your parenting style. Here are a few tips to help you get started.

Determine the reason for the change

You need to take a look at the reasons you are making certain changes. If it's because you feel the changes are the best for your children, stick to them and find ways to make them work. If you only made the changes to get back at your ex or because you are upset with him or her, you may need to reevaluate things. Don't make drastic parenting style changes just because of the need to be different from your ex.

Let go of unrealistic expectations

When you move to solo parenting, it is easy to try to hold yourself to a high standard. Make sure that you aren't placing unrealistic expectations on yourself or on your children. Trying to make too many changes all at once and expecting everything to be perfect is a surefire recipe for stress. Instead, remember to set clear rules for the important things right away. The smaller guidelines and other similar aspects can come later as you and your children settle into your new life.

Follow through with consequences

One thing that many parents try to do is make life easy for their children because they feel guilty about the divorce. This is understandable but you have to balance the need to do this with the need to provide consistency for your children. It can be tough when you know that your children are already going through a lot but letting things slide now can lead to greater troubles later because your children will expect that you continue to let things ride.

The divorce is hard on everyone involved, but you might be able to make things easier for your children by providing a stable environment for them now and for the rest of their childhood.

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